Men's team final, GB, Japan, Ukranian sorrows...things of that nature.

 By now, you may have labeled the United States Men's Gymnastics team as the biggest disgrace to the country since Rosanne singing the National Anthem.
 We can all agree that a fifth place finish obviously isn't spectacular and we dropped two places from not only the 2011 World Championships, but from the 2008 Olympic Games. You may think that John Orozco, aka the new Alicia Sacramone, cost the US their first gold medal since the 1984 Los Angeles and you also may think that the scores were fixed for the underage Chinese Gymnasts, or the Communist Russians or the home team or something else but also really really really ridiculously ignorant.

I am here to point you in the general direction of the nearest seat that you can possible take.

After a first place qualification finish, a medal looked as if it were inevidable for the USA, and that medal could be gold. After the implosion of the Chinese and Japanese teams, it was like omg just give them the medals now, it's not like they're going to lose.

Yeah.

Not so much.
You see, my dear friends, the United States Men aren't used to being first. They do not know how to be first, and maintain a first place position. FIRST, was without a doubt the worst possible thing that could have happened to them. Here in the USA, we house the professional underdogs.
   Between Sam putting his hands down on floor, Danell coming off of pommel horse, Alicia Sacramone John Orozco coming off of pommel and getting a non existent block and sitting his vault down, and other shenanigans, a fifth place finish is actually pretty good. I don't know at what point the USA saw that mistake after mistake left them in like 8th/8, but the last two rotations brought out the best in the Americans. The USA knows how to A.) Be the underdog and B.) Finish strong. They did both and rallied for a fifth place finish. Despite mistakes that never should have been made in the first place, they never gave up. I'm proud to say that the United States of America made the high bar their bitch.

While the USA was either cheering, crying, patting each other on the back, or under a towel (@Leyvastowel) China didn't seem to care. My money's on that the Chinese Kevin Mazeika assembled a team of Honey Badgers.
They didn't care about prelims, and basically died, but still placed 5th overall. They didn't care about all of the outside forces trying to screw with their team final performance and just hit, walking away CHAMPIONZ.

Now, Team GB (I thought it was United Kingdon, UK, but I guess it's GB, just like Big Ben is Queen Elizabeth Clock Tower and the O2 Arena is the North Greenwich or something like that.), a team that didn't even know if they'd qualify for the games took home the silver,  ne bronze medal. I thought that it was a fluke when they won European Championships earlier this year, and to be quite honest, I had to do a double take. Like, in case you've been chillin under a rock for literally 100 years, no lie, Britain doesn't win team medals. I also thought that it was ironically saddening that Daniel Keatings, one of the most successful British Gymnasts ever wasn't on the team. And then...Britain placed first in their qualifying subdivision over CHINA and actually second overall? (????) If this, Great Britain home team, isn't the only actually good British Gymnastics team to grace the earth, consider me a fan.

And poor Ukraine :(. It was a sad day because at initially it looked as if they'd be in third or  fourth place, all dependent on Kristian Thomas of GB, on floor. China would walk away with the gold, because, you know it's China, and Japan the silver. While the home crowd of GB was getting their lives, Kohei Uchimura, in a dramatic fashion, cartwheeled his dismount. It looked as if he didn't pass through a handstand, which knocked the team from an inevitable second, to a fourth place finish. After Kristian Thomas' hit on floor routine, and no one was paying any attention to Kohei. Ukraine was like if Kristian Thomas gets THIS score, we get bronze, and if Kristian Thomas gets THAT score, they get bronze. After the score was flashed, Ukraine thought they were in fourth and bowed their heads in shameful disbelief, but then everyone realized that Uchi and the rest of the Japanese team were in fourth, and they were in THIRD.


Anyway, after a shred of disappointment, Ukraine was like you know what ya'll...we done good. Celebrations began and I'm sure that somewhere out there, Podkopaeyva was crying tears of "even though I'm better than you, I'm still hella proud" joy. After 10 minutes of silver lined celebrations by GB, Kate Middleton, myself Japan was like LOL NO, after several WTF faces and things of that nature . And then Ukraine was like :(, once more.
Also GB was like :(.

Ironically, Ukraine was basically right back where they started, in fourth. And can I just say that I would rather finish DEAD last than be fourth? Heck, if I knew that my team would place fourth, I wouldn't even show up to team finals to collect my handshakes and pathetic little pats on the back.

 Japan filed an inquiry, hunnit dollar bills in hand, to change Uchi's pommel horse difficulty score, creditting his dismount. This would move Japan from fourth to second, shattering the lives of every British fan in the building and ever, and, more importantly, the Ukranians :(. But, ladies and gentlemen, he dismounted. I thought that he did from the very start, and since Tim Daggett was convinced that if you slowed it down, it would prove that he didn't pass through handstand, that was enough to prove that he did...
Even so, I completely justify the reaction of destain of the British crowd because I know that if this happened on American soil, the entire Japanese population would be getting a beat down.

 Did anyone else catch Louis Smith, (Who is apparently GB's version of Aliya Mustafina, or like Austin from Make it or Break it or something,  because he's a diva bad boy, with a soft side, but in reality just a badass) say "You shouldn't make inquiries." I love that guy like it's no joke..

At any rate, Japan deserved a medal, China slayed, nothing new. GB surprised me with some great stuff, and I feel for you Ukraine... I really do. As an American, I forgive my team. All of the skills were there, and even with... lemme see...4 or 5 major mistakes/falls, we still ended up fifth. If the USA hit 18/18 in Team Finals, things could have been different.

I love my team, and I'm proud of this team, because they finished strong. Let me tell you, 5th isn't the worth position that that could have ended up in. I can't fathom why they (Kevin Makeika, and I'm sure Tom Meadows may have been apart of this choice) would put Orozco on vault instead of maybe Horton? Horton putting his hands down, which he's done a few times recently wouldn't have POSSIBLY scored in the 12's circa Orozco. Orozco isn't an accurate vaulter and never really was. Combined with the Olympic pressure, this kind of mistake was bound to happen. The other mistakes were just silly, but that's alright. The USA is still the 5th best team in the world, putting it in perspective. We finished strong, which I'm really really really proud of. After seeing I was in 8th, I would have given up.

If I can just add that in the last SEVERAL years, GB, Ukraine and Russia were not anywhere close to how they performed in London- I most certainly will. Britain earned their first team medal in 100 years.

And just a smooth shout out to those of you STILL calling BS, for USA's fifth place finish and accusing China for doping, or sending underage adult male gymnast, communist judges or something equally as ignorant- at least the USA wasn't fourth.